What’s up with the recent fascination with vampires? The Twilight series books and subsequent movies are huge right now, HBO’s True Blood is really popular, and now there is a new TV show called The Vampire Diaries scheduled to air this fall (which is based on a different teen vampire book series). I don’t see the appeal of vampires or wanting to be a vampire. Sure you can fly/jump high, but I think the negative aspects of being a vampire far outweigh the benefits. Here are just a few thoughts I had about what it would be like to be a vampire:
1) Once you get bitten by another vampire and become "undead" you’re stuck being your current age and having that look forever. I don’t know about you, but most of the people I know (and me) are rarely really happy with how they look. They either want to lose a few pounds, change their hair, get a tan, etc. Just imagine if you were bitten by a vampire right now – this is the look you’d be rockin’ for eternity.
2) What do vampires do for money? Not all of vampires can be Counts like Dracula and own a castle and be independently wealthy. You’d still have to work to pay your mortgage, transportation, and have money for vacations, etc. (I’m assuming your food bill is taken care of by sucking the blood from stray cats, dogs, etc. and the occasional homeless person if you’re ok with doing that). I guess you could use your "vampire seductiveness" to lure wealthy older ladies/men into marriage and then kill them or just outlive them. But not all vampires can be equipped with the skill sets to do this; I’m sure there are a lot of vampires that don’t have the social skills to marry into money at will. These vampires would have to work for the next 30 years to pay off their house, then I guess try to buy up land/real estate and hope that investment continues to pay off so they’re not working for the next 150 years just to get by.
3) There’s the obvious paleness that is just not pleasant. Getting a tan is something I look forward to every summer. There’s also the sunlight restriction. I love going to the pool, beach, water park etc. Most of these things aren’t open at night, and even if they are they’re not as fun.
4) No reflection in the mirror. This one is a deal breaker for me. I can’t pass a mirror without stopping to make sure I’ve got my sexy right. I can’t judge the outfit I’m wearing just by looking down at it; I need the full head-to-toe.
I get that Brad Pitt and Robert Pattinson make being a vampire look sexy, but we all know that in reality most of the people who would be interested in becoming a vampire are those weird people at your work who eat lunch by themselves and quickly minimize the Internet explorer windows on their screen when you go to their desk.
Song of the day: "I Kissed a Girl" by Jill Sobule. This is not the Katy Perry song from last year; this song is from 1995. When I first heard it I thought it was Sheryl Crow (how hot would that be to have Sheryl Crow singing about kissing a girl?), but after I found out that it wasn’t her I still liked the song. It’s catchy and fun.
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