Please stop the bus to let my brother Jack off

There hasn’t been a lot going on lately with me, so I haven’t had much to write about. The Haunted House DJ gig went pretty well. People who were listening to the music seemed to be enjoying themselves. The high school dance/step troupe wanted to perform the “Thriller dance” every 30 minutes for the crowd, so that provided an opportunity to play around mixing in and out of that Michael Jackson song on the fly. I was heckled a bit; not by the kids, but by Jennifer and Jack. They would yell out random songs (mostly Ghostbusters) that they wanted to hear, and would boo if the next song wasn’t their request. It was all in jest though and we all had a good time.

I did recently donate blood at a blood drive at my work, and had somewhat of an interesting experience. I’ve given blood before and am not afraid to do so. I’m not bragging or anything; I give because 1) I’m sure I’ll end up in the hospital some day and will need someone else’s blood. 2) in the big scheme of things I’m hoping that doing something nice for strangers will make up for all of the times I’m mean and insensitive to strangers, and 3) I think the world will be a much better place if more people had some William Howard blood pumping through them.

As you probably know, before you donate they have you answer a myriad of questions regarding your medical history, your international travel history, and your sexual history. Two of my answers on my questionnaire required the technician to ask me additional questions and delve deeper into my past than usual: I had traveled outside of the U.S within the past 3 years (Australia), and had gotten a tattoo within the timeframe listed on the questionnaire. They had to look on a world map to see if Australia was considered a “safe place” (it was, and just by looking at the map, it looked like it was mostly Africa that was “unsafe”), and they had to write down the name of the tattoo shop I visited. That was kind of fun because to that technician I seemed a lot cooler than I really am.

One question I found odd on the questionnaire was this one, which was under the HIV/AIDS portion: “Have you been in juvenile detention, lockup, jail, or prison for more than 72 hours?” Really?! So I guess they think that if you spend longer than 3 days locked up in a correctional facility . . . something’s going to happen and you’re going to get some action. That should serve as a reminder to never get in trouble with the law on the Friday night of a 3 day/holiday weekend, because by Tuesday you could come out of lockup with a whole new set of problems.


Song/Album of the day: Girl Talk’s “Feed the Animals” album. Girl Talk is somewhat of an oddity to me, and I’m having a hard time fully committing to it. I read an article about him in GQ (article) and didn’t think much of it until Jennifer asked me if I had listened to his album (she read the article as well). I downloaded the album (album here). As I’ve said before, I’m a fan of mash-ups but this is sometimes almost too much, even for me. It’s really impressive that he did all of that with just a laptop, and he used a lot of well-known random songs that I like. It is very professionally done (he changed what key certain songs are in so they’ll blend well with the other songs and the timing is impeccable). If you get a chance, download it, listen to it and let me know what you think. The first time I listened to it I couldn’t get past trying to identify all of the samples being used. So if you’re like me and need a cheat sheet of all of the samples being used for each track – find it here.

Now here's a little story I've got to tell . . .

I don't keep in touch with very many of the friends I had when I was growing up. Of those childhood friends, there are maybe five people that I keep in touch with that I've put forth the effort to transition those friendships into adult friendships. I had the opportunity to hang out with two of these adult friends over the Thanksgiving holiday, so I thought I'd share something that occurred while we were hanging out.

The two friends are siblings (twins actually); one is a kindergarten teacher at a public elementary school in Warrensburg, and the other a medical doctor who practices internal medicine at a hospital in Dallas, TX. For the sake of not using real names we'll call the doctor friend Leia - that seems fitting. We met up on Friday night at a bar to have a few drinks and catch up with one another. We had only been there about 10 minutes when a random woman hurried over to us and frantically asked if we had any baby aspirin or any type of aspirin at all. Me being the @$$ that I am, my first thought was, "Well maybe if your baby has such a headache then he/she shouldn't be in a bar on a Friday night in the first place." (I'm kidding, and I could tell it wasn't the time to say this out loud). It seems that an elderly gentleman at the end of the bar was experiencing a "mini-stroke", or TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack for those wanting to know the official medical term). Leia went over very calmly and assessed the situation, evaluated the elderly gentleman's condition, spoke to his family and also spoke to the EMTs once they arrived and updated them on the situation and the old man's status. The elderly gentleman was taken to the hospital and our night progressed like nothing had happened. The old man's family was very thankful to Leia, and I could tell having a doctor there with the old man until the EMTs arrived really put the old man's family at ease.

I know I'm probably not supposed to say this, but I was a little excited when this situation presented itself, and here's why. I'd never seen Leia "be a doctor" in person. We grew up together and I have memories of her in high school and what not, but since she practices medicine in another state I've never gotten to see her do her thing as an adult. She's very humble when it comes to her profession - she doesn't talk about it much, and always works to downplay the fact that she's a doctor when she's around other people that she grew up with. Maybe she's just a private person, or maybe she doesn't want it to look like she's bragging that she's a supersmart doctor or something - I don't know. She's very nice and will answer any question about her job when asked, but she doesn't volunteer much information and she'll subtly steer the conversation to something else by asking someone else a question or by bringing up another topic.

It's a good thing that Leia was the doctor there at the bar on Friday instead of me, because If I had been the doctor then the situation would've been totally different. I'm sure I would've stood up, chest puffed out, and said something cheesy like, "No need to fear ma'am, I'm a doctor" while winking to the lady and then rushing over to the old man, all the while dramatic instrumental music would be playing (it would be very ER-esque, with me looking like George Clooney\Dr. Doug Ross circa 1998). I probably would've tried to score free drinks from the bar for the rest of the night, because after all, I did single-handedly save this man's life.

In all seriousness, it was a little weird to think that at any time my friend could be called upon to save a stranger's life. I'm pretty sure that there will never be a situation where I'm out socially and someone will say, "Is there a DBA here? We have deadlocking on a OLTP server and need assistance STAT" (I threw in the STAT part for effect). It just won't happen. I guess that's the responsibility that comes with those types of professions (medical doctors, law enforcement officials, etc.); always being "on call." Scary.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am very proud of my friend, and it was cool to see her do her thing in person. It's just too bad that the old man's airway wasn't blocked; maybe I could've seen Leia stab an ink pen in the old man's throat so he could breathe (how cool would that have been?!). Oh well, there's always the next time we hang out.

Song of the day:  "Am I Wrong" by Love Spit Love. It's on the Angus soundtrack, and it's a good "hangin out" song.

You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave

I’m sure everyone has a memory or situation that he/she uses as a “baseline” for their worst experience that helps to put the current situation in perspective. When something isn’t going well, you might say, “This is bad, but this isn’t as bad as the time _______.” In my life I’ve experienced a couple of things you’d think could be used as my baseline: a kidney stone that was too large to pass so it had to be removed via “a laser” (picture an Austin Powers Dr. Evil impersonation while reading the word “laser”) blowing it up into smaller, passable pieces; or maybe running the last 15 miles of the KC marathon after hurting my knee on mile 11 and eventually requiring knee surgery after the marathon. Surprisingly, neither of these things compare to what I use as my baseline/rock bottom. For me it’s the week in 1995 that I spent at Boys State. I can say that I no longer fear hell and can live through anything because I survived Boys State.

For those who don’t know, Boys State is a week long summer camp sponsored by the American Legion for boys between their junior and senior years. It is supposed to be an honor to attend, and it’s considered a leadership-type mock government camp for the “future of tomorrow”. Don’t be fooled by any of this propaganda. Make no mistake, you do learn things from attending Boys State, but it’s not leadership. Now don’t’ get me wrong, nothing horrible such as inappropriate fondling or anything like that happened (at least not to me) – my anguish was more of the mental variety. Anyway, let me share my Boys State experience with you:

Missouri Boys State is held at UCM’s (formerly CMSU) campus in June of each year. It brings together approximately 800 17 year-old boys for one week and subjects them to classroom lectures on politics, government, etc. You stay in the dorms on campus and have a roommate, and also a couple of older college-age guys on each floor who serve as the floor RA’s. There are a couple of rules that all Boys State attendees must follow: you aren’t allowed to leave campus and contact with females is strictly prohibited during the entire week. They were adamant about this last rule; if they saw you even talking to a girl, disciplinary action was taken. Seriously?! Whose bright idea was it to put 800 17 year-old boys together in a confined space for a week and prohibit female contact? After the 2nd day of being around all of these guys who weren’t allowed female interaction, it felt like at any point in time it could easily turn into a “Lord of the Flies” type of environment. I especially had issues with the “no female contact” rule because since I was a local (being from Warrensburg), I knew a lot of the high-school girls who were working in the cafeteria serving meals or working other part-time summer jobs on campus. I didn’t want to be rude so I’d give the “what’s up” nod to all of them and I got in trouble for even doing that; it was considered non-verbal communication with a female. Ridiculous. I ended up breaking both rules because by mid-week I couldn’t take the boring lectures anymore so I would leave the lectures and go to the college library and sit and read books and magazines for hours during the afternoon. There were 800 guys there and the only other Warrensburg townie in my “city” (that’s what your dorm floor was called) was really into the whole Boys State thing and he was having a great time, so I wasn’t missed by anyone. One day while I was at the library I saw a female friend from high school and I talked to her for a while (just to make sure I could still talk to a female and I hadn’t resorted to prehistoric grunting) and she said she was going to Wal-Mart, so I asked if I could tag along with her. I’d never been so happy to visit a Wal-Mart.

I know Boys State may not sound like the horrible situation that I make it out to be. Please bear with me; here are a few more of the reasons why my experience was so bad:

1) None of my friends went. There were a few other guys from Warrensburg that went, but I wasn’t really close to them. The one other Warrensburg townie in my Boys State “city” was really into it, probably because his father was a politician for the state of Missouri, and since I thought the whole “city” and mock government thing was dumb we didn’t really hang out that week. I try not to be a negative, condescending person, but come on. Having fake policemen, fake judges, fake mayors, etc. and having to play along with all of it (as a high school student, not a 6 year-old) – it’s stupid.

2) My roommate was really into it as well, and that was really annoying. He was running for city mayor or something equally as dumb, so he tried to get me to campaign for him. I just looked at him and asked, “You realize this is all fake and means nothing out in the real world, right?” He asked another guy in our city to help him out and we left each other alone the rest of the week.

3) It was 8 days long - Saturday to Saturday. That’s too much time to be at a fun summer camp, much less a crappy one. That’s a whole week of your summer, just gone; wasted.

4) They tried to make it quasi-military and that got old really quick. We had to walk in a single-file line when our “city” went somewhere (lectures, meals, etc.), we couldn’t talk while we were walking to and from the dorms, etc. Lights out was early and you had to be quiet once this occurred each night.

5) There was never any free time. Everything was scheduled, and most of the scheduled events/lectures were extremely boring.

6) I seemed to be the only person that thought that all of the mock/fake government was dumb and didn’t buy into it. At one point I actually found myself questioning myself for a second, thinking, “maybe something is wrong with me – everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves for the most part.” But then I realized that I was letting Boys State get to me and I needed to snap out of it. There’s nothing wrong with me; the rest of these guys are just average, 17 year-old guys who will end up selling insurance, used cars or becoming real estate agents in their hometowns. That’s right, I said it.

You may be asking yourself, “Why did you go (or stay) then if it was so bad?” I went and stayed for 2 reasons: Boys State attendees got a $1000 scholarship to CMSU your freshman year, and my parents were proud that I was chosen to go so I went because I was a good kid and I worked hard to always be known as “the good kid.”

To wrap up this blog posting, I’ll say this: No normal, intelligent, heterosexual 17 year-old boy with a sense of perspective should enjoy Boys State. I know that’s a bold statement, but I stand by it. Boys State did ultimately prepare me for the future by showing me that I can tolerate almost anything. I do feel like I earned every dollar of that $1000 scholarship.


Song of the day: Coldpay’s “Glass of Water” from their Proskpekt’s March album. (“You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”) Chris Martin is a good musician. I know I’m going to seem like “one of those guys” by saying I like Coldplay, but I do.

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

So I realize that I haven't been keeping up with my blogging duties lately, but I have a reason why and I thought I'd share it. For the past month or so I've spent a lot of my free time working on my DJ skills for a Halloween party this weekend. Yes, you read that correctly - William Howard is working on his DJ skills. Let me share with you how this all came about.

I've mentioned before in my blog that I'm a big fan of music and of the skills good DJs possess. I remember buying Fatboy Slim's "We've Come a Long Way, Baby" CD my freshman year of college and wearing it out because I listened to it so much, and then purchasing a few of Fatboy Slim's continuous mix CD's and listening to those non-stop while in my car. Well, after our most recent trip to Vegas, while watching a few DJs perform at a club, I thought to myself that would be fun to learn to do. Most DJs these days use a laptop and mp3s, and I have a decent collection of music on my laptop, so I'd just need to purchase some additional hardware and software.

After doing some research, I found the DJ hardware/software option that was best for me (since I was just wanting to mess around with it at my house - not wanting the professional-grade setup) was Virtual DJ software and a Hercules DJ Console RMX mixing controller. FYI - most of the professional DJs use Serato Scratch Live! software and USB-enabled Technics turntables (or similar brand) and a mixer.

Now that I had my setup, I started playing around with it at night after the family went to bed or on my days off from work. I have to admit, it's pretty addicting. I can spend hours just playing around with it, seeing what songs mix together well and just playing songs I like. Me, my wife and my brother will all take turns mixing with it when we're hanging out at the house together, and it's fun to hear the music each of us plays. It was never my original intention when getting into this new hobby to DJ a public event; I thought it would just something new, fun and challenging to do at the house.

Well, after word got out to friends and family that I had a new hobby (or they saw the setup at the house), I got a few requests to play music at a few house parties. I was a little nervous because I don't consider myself a real DJ and I didn't want people to think I was trying to be a real DJ. I prepared an hour or so worth of music to mix and I think overall it went pretty well. I realized a few things while playing at a party: as long as the music isn't too loud and you don't play something horrendous, people don't really care what music is being played, as long as it's continuous background noise and not too "jerky" (a slower song played between fast songs that brings the tempo to a crawl); most people will just ignore you.

Now to the haunted house - my sister-in-law works for the North Kansas City School District as a Media Specialist (new technical name for librarian), and they are having a Haunted House this year at the library (the library is also the public library for that area of town) around Halloween after a home football game. It costs a few dollars to go through, and the proceeds go to the library for new books, etc. I guess it's expected to gather quite a crowd because tickets are sold in the middle schools and high schools in the area the week before. The library is also right across the street from the football game, so they are expecting a lot of kids to hang out there after the football game. Anyway, my sister-in-law asked if I would play some music outside the library/haunted house to keep the people in line for the haunted house entertained and also to gather attention to the haunted house to passers-by attending/leaving the football game . Now this will be something totally new, different, and a little scary for me, for a few reasons:

1. We all know middle school and high school kids are the cruelest, most judgmental people there are. I'm not a big fan of having kids make fun of me if they're not liking what they're hearing. Please understand that I don't care what middle-school and high-school kids think of me, because let's be honest, the type of kids who would openly make fun of someone playing music outside of a haunted house are most likely going to turn out to be losers as adults. I know that's a horrible thing to say about the youth of America, but come on. We all know this to be true.

2. I'm old - I realize this. I don't listen to the music that kids listen to these days. I don't want to be "that guy" that tries to relate to kids by listening to Top 40 radio for ideas and then playing all of those songs, along with Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers & High School Musical tracks all night. I also don't want to go too far the other way and just play music I like, because I'm pretty sure that middle-school and high-school kids haven't even heard some of the music I like to listen to; it was before their time. I also don't want to just play Halloween -themed music all night like "Thriller", "Monster Mash", "Ghostbusters", etc. and sound like one of those Halloween sound effects CD's people play at their house on Halloween night while kids are trick-or-treating.

3. They would like the music to start around 6:30PM in order to get the attention of the football fans who are walking from their vehicles to the football game. I've estimated that based on the size/power of my speaker system and the average walking speed of adults and children that each person will hear approximately 2.5 - 3 minutes of music as they pass by the library on their way to the football game. What that means to me is that I've got to be mixing in a way that people will be interested enough in what they hear within those 2.5 - 3 minutes that they will want to come by after the game to see what's going on.

4. I don't want to seem like a hack and play the same song more than once during the evening. This may sound like an easy task and not something I should worry about, but let me break this down for you another way. The haunted house/party goes until 11:30-midnight. I start playing at 6:30. That's 5.5 hours that I will be DJ'ing. Since it's a party on a Friday night for mostly teenagers (and for the parents who are with the younger kids), you want it to play fast tempo music to give it that "party" vibe (no slow songs or "hangin' out" music). You also want to play songs that the general public will recognize. I like to mix in and out of songs rather quickly, playing at most the chorus and a verse of each song, then transitioning into the next song. This equates to each song playing for around 1 minute each. That means that if I mix continuously from 6:30 to midnight, I'd be playing approximately 330 songs.Now I have well over 330 fast-tempo songs in my music collection to play, but not all of them mix mix well together and some songs have explicit content and should not be played at a function sponsored by a public school. I realize that I can just let more of each song play, but I don't' like doing that because I want the crowd to realize that it's a DJ playing the music, and not just an iPod on shuffle that's playing each song in its entirety.

I realize that DJ'ing a haunted house at a high school library is a minute, irrational thing to worry about and I'm blowing it way out of proportion. I just want to do a good job and not embarrass myself (or more importantly embarrass my sister-in-law) and for people to have fun. My whole goal for the night is to have people like what they hear and want to hang out to see what song will be played next, and if they were to be like "Oh snap!" when they hear some of the transitions and mixes I've put together, that would be cool as well.

By the way, if anyone has any suggestions of songs they'd like to hear or could picture hearing while waiting in line at a haunted house on a Friday night after a high-school football game, suggestions are definitely welcome.


Song of the day: "Sgt Pepper's Paradise" by Beatles vs. Guns N' Roses. The easiest way to hear this song is to go to www.grooveshark.com and enter in "sgt. pepper's paradise extended" (without the quotes). I'm a fan of mash-ups that are well put together, and this is a good one. You can't help but get up when you hear the opening guitar riff of "Paradise City" and the drum beat, and then when the vocals start you're just like, "Oh snap!"

Insert random lyric or movie quote here

A husband and wife are walking down the street and they see a parrot in a pet store window. They stop to admire the bird and the parrot says to the husband, "Your wife is really ugly." The husband is furious so they immediately leave the store. The next day the couple sees the same parrot in the window and the parrot, upon seeing them, says to the husband, “Your wife is really ugly." The husband goes inside the pet store and demands to speak to the owner. The husband is livid and yells at the owner and threatens to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store owner apologizes profusely and states that bird has been a problem for a long time and he’ll take care of it. He tells the husband that he will make sure the bird never says anything negative about his wife again. The couple leaves, and the pet store owner takes the bird in the back room and proceeds to rough it up in order to teach it a lesson. The next day, when the couple walks past the store they see the parrot sitting on his perch, but this time the parrot has a black eye, his feathers are ruffled and one of his wings is in a cast. As they walk past, the husband looks at the bird, waiting to see if it’ll say anything. The parrot looks at the husband from its perch in a cocky manner and says, “Ain’t nothin’ changed.”

My better is better than your better

I am not a runner. I’ve never claimed to be a runner. I didn’t run in school, and I don’t really enjoy running now. With that said, I ran in the Kansas City marathon last year. That’s right, 26.2 miles. I definitely didn’t set any records, but I did finish. Let me bridge the gap for you from me not being a runner to running a marathon.

I started exercising in 2006 after my doctor told me I needed to change my lifestyle in order to lower my blood pressure or I would need to start taking medication to lower it. I didn’t want to be a 28-year-old on blood pressure pills, so I joined the gym at work. I started jogging on the treadmill a few times a week and started paying attention to my diet. At my 6 month follow-up the doctor said my blood pressure was much better and I should continue with the exercising to maintain my health.

After being able to run a couple miles on the treadmill I signed up to run a 5K. I’d never run a race before, so I thought it might be fun. It was harder than I thought; I hadn’t run outside, and 3.1 miles outside is harder than 3.1 miles on a treadmill. After my first 5K I started running outside and did a couple more 5K’s. I wanted to do the fun ones, such as one where you run inside a cave, one that was at night, and one where you run around a jail. During this time my brother also ran a few 5K’s in Chicago, so we would try to beat each other’s time. I think he won with a time of 23:37 at a race, whereas my best time was 23:40 (although he had a friend with him who ran all the time and set a pace for him so he could beat me. I’m not saying that wasn’t a smart thing to do; I just wish I had a friend who is fast and could help me out). I had originally wanted to run a 5K in under 20 minutes (because that’s what Tito Ortiz said he did while training for a fight up in Big Bear), but I realized that I can’t run that fast for 3 miles. The people who run that fast are the people at the races with the super short shorts and 0% body fat. You see those people when the starter pistol goes off, and then you never see them again because they sprint the entire 3 miles and never break a sweat.

Fast forward to the spring of 2008. I was in a real funk. I was never happy and the usual jovial William was nowhere to be found. Some people thought I was either crazy or depressed, or maybe a little of both. The main reason why I was so unhappy was that I hated my job. I understand that a person shouldn’t find his/her self worth in their employment and it’s only a job, but someone should enjoy what they do at least some of the time. My work wasn’t challenging anymore and I was basically a babysitter to others. I hated being at work and I let that affect my personal life. I needed something to focus on to take my mind away from my job. I liked working in IT at my company; I just hated the team I was on. I had found another group that I really wanted to work for within the IT department, but their team wasn’t going to have an opening until the fall of 2008 at the earliest.

I decided to set a goal of running the Kansas City marathon. I read somewhere that less than 1% of the world’s population has finished a marathon, so I thought that’s something I could do and be proud of. I didn’t know anything about running a marathon, so it gave me something new to research and it provided goals and benchmarks to motivate me. I would run a few miles 2 or 3 times during the week and then do a long run on Saturday mornings. It was nice because it got me out of the house and kept me active (I tend to just sleep or lay around when I’m depressed). The 2+ hours of running on Saturday mornings also provided time for me to think about my life and what I want to do with the rest of it. On a side note, I could also eat anything I wanted to while training for the marathon and not worry about gaining weight, which was really nice.

About 2 months before the marathon an opportunity at work arose sooner than expected for me to join the team that I had wanted to join. I pursued the opportunity and moved to the other group. I now had a new, challenging job on a good team. I realized that I didn’t really need the marathon anymore to make me happy; I was happy with my job once again. I decided that I had trained this hard for months so I should go ahead and run the marathon, although I had no desire to do it. The marathon went ok; I hurt my knee on mile 11 but I wanted to finish because I had put in so much time training and I wanted to finish it and be done with it (this was not a wise thing to do – because of my decision to continue running the marathon I damaged my knee enough to require knee surgery in December). My finishing time wasn’t what I had hoped it would be, but at least I finished. It was cool to run in my own town and the Kansas City marathon is nice because it takes you through Westport, the Plaza, Waldo, and downtown.

I learned a few things while training and running the marathon: One is that once you can run 7-8 miles, you can keep running all day (at a slow pace). All you need to do is keep your fluids and energy up with GU (or any other type of running energy supplement) and water. The other thing I learned is that people run marathons for a lot of different reasons. Sure there are some people who enjoy running and run marathons for the fun of it, but there are also a lot of people who run a marathon because something is wrong in their life and training for the marathon is a way out. If you ever hear someone say that they ran a marathon and they don’t seem like a runner to you, I challenge you to try to figure out what their motivation was to run the marathon. What was wrong in their life that they thought running a marathon would help? Divorce/bad breakup, mid-life crisis, stay-at-home parent who needed a challenge, maybe they needed to lose weight, or maybe they were like me and hated their job. Don’t get me wrong - I’m not saying that anything is wrong running a marathon to help with your mental and/or physical health. I think it’s good that people take control and try to do something to fix their life. I did it, and it helped to get me through a rough spot.

I have no desire to run another marathon. I may do a half marathon someday, but I don’t feel that I need to do another one. I still run a few times a week at work during lunch to keep me in decent shape, but I still don’t really enjoy running, and I’ve never experienced that “runner’s high” that real runners talk about. If I could be healthy and never exercise again I would choose that.


Song of the day: “True Love/Star of Bethlehem” by Angels & Airwaves. It’s actually 2 tracks from their I-Empire album, with the first track being the intro to the second track. This song reminds me of my long, Saturday morning training runs for the marathon. This was always the first song I’d listen to while warming up and running that first mile. A lot of the time it was still dark out when I’d start and I’d hear this song while watching the sun come up while running.

You’re not that pretty and you’re not that special

When did The Weather Channel start trying to be a real TV channel? Why doesn't The Weather Channel just show the weather forecast anymore? When I'm watching TV and I turn to The Weather Channel it's for one thing - a quick update on the current weather. I don't want to watch "When Weather Changed History”, “Storm of the Century" or some other show about the effects of a hypothetical massive tidal wave hitting the coasts. I just want the Local on the 8's that will show me the current weather, local radar, and 3 day outlook. I realize that they still show Local on the 8’s during these shows, but it’s only scrolling at the bottom and they don’t show the radar.

I don't even know anyone who watches these other shows on The Weather Channel anyway. Does anyone know of someone who plans their evening around watching these shows, or sets their DVR to tape these so when they get home from a long day they can pop some popcorn, get a drink and sit on the couch to catch up on all of the Weather Channel’s intriguing programming that they’ve missed? I don't think so. If these shows were that interesting then other real TV channels would be showing them.

Please stop trying to be dramatic Weather Channel and just give the people what they want. Show the current weather while playing light jazz instrumental music. It’s a simple concept; stop trying to church it up.


Song of the day: “Bring ‘Em Out” by T.I. No reason – it’s just a good song. Swizz Beatz knows how to make a beat.

The record always spins on the trails we blaze

For those that know me, you know that I've never really been a big sports guy - the only sports I really follow are UFC and a little bit of college basketball. Sure I keep up with the Royals and Chiefs so I can relate to conversations at work, but I'm not passionate about sports like a lot of guys. My passion has always been music. I've always enjoyed listening to and learning about all types of music, from pop to rock to country to rap - you name it.

I've always got music playing around me - at my desk at work, while exercising, driving in the car, and at home. I've been known many times to have music playing while watching TV (the TV has closed captioning on). I can remember when I was young listening to the radio with my Dad in his car and at home and hearing music from such artists/bands as Steve Winwood, Phil Collins, Billy Joel, Ronnie Milsap and Bachman Turner Overdrive. I never did really listen to kids music per say, and I appreciate that I was exposed to real music so early in life. I've tried to do the same with my son; he listens to children’s CD's with his grandmother and at school, but when he's in my car he listens to whatever I'm listening to. He already has favorite songs he requests to hear - "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath, "Sedated" by the Ramones, "Wonderwall" by Oasis, "Don't Stand So Close to Me" by the Police, and "Pokerface" by Lady Gaga. Andersen's mix isn't too bad.

I'm always curious as to what music other people are listening to as well - it's always fun to trade iPods with others to see what they have in their playlist. I routinely check iTunes music store to catch the new Celebrity Playlists and read the descriptions from the celebrities as to why they picked each song for their playlist. To me, people's music choices say a lot about who they are and where they're coming from.

Because of my appreciation for and interest in of all types of music, I've always liked listening to and watching DJ's perform. I think it's fun to see what songs are being mixed together, and how the DJ transitions from one song to another (by the way, I know this sounds snobby, but if you're not mixing songs together to have a constant beat/mix, then you're not a DJ; you're just a guy with a playlist hooked up to a speaker system. I'm sorry, but just selecting music and playing it in a certain order doesn't make you a DJ – an iPod could do your job). The last time we were in Vegas we hung out one night by the DJ booth at a club and watched the DJ's perform for hours. I've always been amazed when DJ's have the skills to transition songs smoothly and keep the party going without interruption.

With all of that said, I am sincerely saddened by the sudden death of DJ AM. I was shocked when I read online last Friday evening that he was found dead in his apartment because I've been a big fan of his for some time. I felt like I could relate to him because he was a white guy in his mid-thirties whose musical taste spanned genres, like mine. I know this is going to sound really corny, but I followed his Twitter activity, I've seen all of his videos on YouTube multiple times, I downloaded his mixes when they were released, and I also frequented his website (www.djam.com) for updates and to check his performance schedule. Checking his Twitter page and searching YouTube for new DJ AM videos was part of my nightly internet ritual. To me he was the best performance DJ out there and was levels above other professional DJ's. He was the celebrity that I would’ve liked to have been if I could trade lives with anyone. His DJ skills were ridiculous; from his mash-ups to his seamless transitions, he played songs that the average person would recognize and he made it fun. It's fair to say that I had a man crush on DJ AM. He obviously had issues in his personal life, but that shouldn't take away from his incredible talent at his profession. It's sad that someone so talented will be regarded by the public as a B-list celebrity who died of an overdose and will be forgotten quickly.

I encourage everyone who likes music to listen to one of DJ AM's mixes (Fix Your Face vol 1 is good - I had it as a Song/Album of the day previously) or watch a video of him on YouTube (here's one of him performing at Rain nightclub at the Palms in Vegas) to see how good he was at his job.


Song of the day: "Digital Love" by Daft Punk from their Discovery album. This is the same album that had the tracks "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" (sampled by Kanye West for his "Stronger" hit) and "One More Time" on it. DJ AM was known to use at least one Daft Punk track in every one of his mixes. This Daft Punk song has lyrics and the melody is catchy.

If you’re havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son . . .

I recently shared one of my more positive memories from my youth, so I thought today that I’d share something from the other end of the spectrum; one of my most embarrassing moments. Off the top of my head I have 3 moments that I would erase from time if I had the opportunity. This is the first.

High school football games were a big deal when I was in high school. Being from a smaller town meant that everyone went to the games. It was my freshman year and I was going to the game with a few of my friends. Now, during my freshman year my whole goal was to just try to blend in and not bring any attention to myself. At the football games all of the high school kids sat in the same section of the bleachers. My friends and I sat down in this section and pretty soon some girls (who were either juniors or seniors) came and sat next to me on the bleachers. I can’t remember if they were “crazy hot” or not, but they were older than me and at least decent-looking because I remember that I wanted to make a good impression. My friends and I had already discussed that we wouldn’t do anything stupid or immature while we were sitting with all of the other high school kids. We’d just sit there on our best behavior, talking quietly amongst ourselves. So during the first half of the game the girls sitting next to us ignored us, which was completely expected; we were freshman boys. My friends and I sat there, watching the game and having a good time. I think it was during halftime, after the marching band had performed, that the girl sitting next to me turned and said, “Hey, what’s your name?” It caught me completely off-guard. I could see out of the corner of my eye that it had surprised my friends as well because they were just looking at me, waiting for me to respond to her question. This was huge; a junior or senior girl wanting to know my name. You know how you have so many thoughts go through your head in such a short amount of time? Here’s the internal narrative that I remember having the few seconds before I replied to her:

“Alright, I knew sitting here and acting mature would get us noticed. She must have noticed me sitting here next to her and wants to get to know me better. She probably smelled my cologne and my pleasant breath and was intrigued. Maybe my freshman year won’t be so bad after all. I’m glad my stupid friends followed the plan. I knew it was a good thing we discussed our behavior beforehand. Who knows, this might actually turn into something and I might even get to go to
Prom as a freshman guy. How cool would that be? Of course she’d have to drive, but that shouldn’t be a big issue. I’m sure we’d probably rent a limo with 25 of her closest friends and all squeeze in there like it’s a clown car at a circus anyway. Of course, then there’s the pressure of the post-Prom hookup. It’s no big deal, that’s months away. I’ve got time to research; I’ll talk to a good female neighbor friend of mine to get some pointers on what chicks like and I’ll also read the Cosmo & GQ magazines the next time I’m at the grocery store (this was pre-Internet) – they always go into good detail on what’s “in” in that arena. Ok, so now, just respond by saying your name. Try to not let your voice crack, but don’t say it in too deep of a voice like you’re trying to be Barry White. Remember; make eye contact with her when you answer her and while she’s talking; that shows that you’re confident and not a typical shy freshman boy. But don’t do that creepy staring thing where it looks like you’re trying to steal her soul through her eyes. Ok, answer her before she thinks you’re slow.”

I responded with, “My name’s Will.” I said it and my voice didn’t crack. Things were starting off well; I thought we were beginning to build a rapport. What she said next was something I wasn’t expecting at all. She said, “Well Will, you’re sitting on my coat.” That sentence completely deflated me. I guess she wanted to get up and go to the concession stand or somewhere else and couldn’t because there was a random freshman boy sitting on her coat. I must’ve sat on it sometime during the first half of the game. I promptly apologized and got off of her coat. Her and her friends left and did not come back to sit next to us the rest of the game. My friends had a good time with this little exchange they had just witnessed; I heard about it for a long time.

Although it could’ve been a lot worse, it was still plenty embarrassing. I think what made it so bad was the momentary hope that I had built up internally so quickly after she had asked for my name, which was then immediately crushed with her response. Hopefully that temporary hope wasn’t obvious on my face. Oh well.


Song of the day: “This is the Thing” by Fink. I heard this song on an episode of the TV show “Friday Night Lights” (a great show by the way; not your typical high school drama). This would be a “hanging out” song, not a “partying” song.

“You scared?” “You suicidal?” “Only in the morning.”

What’s up with the recent fascination with vampires? The Twilight series books and subsequent movies are huge right now, HBO’s True Blood is really popular, and now there is a new TV show called The Vampire Diaries scheduled to air this fall (which is based on a different teen vampire book series). I don’t see the appeal of vampires or wanting to be a vampire. Sure you can fly/jump high, but I think the negative aspects of being a vampire far outweigh the benefits. Here are just a few thoughts I had about what it would be like to be a vampire:

1) Once you get bitten by another vampire and become "undead" you’re stuck being your current age and having that look forever. I don’t know about you, but most of the people I know (and me) are rarely really happy with how they look. They either want to lose a few pounds, change their hair, get a tan, etc. Just imagine if you were bitten by a vampire right now – this is the look you’d be rockin’ for eternity.

2) What do vampires do for money? Not all of vampires can be Counts like Dracula and own a castle and be independently wealthy. You’d still have to work to pay your mortgage, transportation, and have money for vacations, etc. (I’m assuming your food bill is taken care of by sucking the blood from stray cats, dogs, etc. and the occasional homeless person if you’re ok with doing that). I guess you could use your "vampire seductiveness" to lure wealthy older ladies/men into marriage and then kill them or just outlive them. But not all vampires can be equipped with the skill sets to do this; I’m sure there are a lot of vampires that don’t have the social skills to marry into money at will. These vampires would have to work for the next 30 years to pay off their house, then I guess try to buy up land/real estate and hope that investment continues to pay off so they’re not working for the next 150 years just to get by.

3) There’s the obvious paleness that is just not pleasant. Getting a tan is something I look forward to every summer. There’s also the sunlight restriction. I love going to the pool, beach, water park etc. Most of these things aren’t open at night, and even if they are they’re not as fun.

4) No reflection in the mirror. This one is a deal breaker for me. I can’t pass a mirror without stopping to make sure I’ve got my sexy right. I can’t judge the outfit I’m wearing just by looking down at it; I need the full head-to-toe.

I get that Brad Pitt and Robert Pattinson make being a vampire look sexy, but we all know that in reality most of the people who would be interested in becoming a vampire are those weird people at your work who eat lunch by themselves and quickly minimize the Internet explorer windows on their screen when you go to their desk.


Song of the day: "I Kissed a Girl" by Jill Sobule. This is not the Katy Perry song from last year; this song is from 1995. When I first heard it I thought it was Sheryl Crow (how hot would that be to have Sheryl Crow singing about kissing a girl?), but after I found out that it wasn’t her I still liked the song. It’s catchy and fun.

"I'm looking for someone in Beaver Management . . ." - Boots' Daddy

I know I’ve been neglecting the blog lately. Between work, summertime fun and some new hobbies I haven’t really had much time to write. Don’t worry, I’m sure once summer is over I’ll have all the time in the world to update the blog on a regular basis. I’m sure everyone has been waiting anxiously.

I don’t really have a theme for this blog. We did recently go to Chicago for an extended weekend to visit my brother. We had a good time, and my son really enjoyed spending time at his uncle’s place. Who wouldn’t really – a plane ride, a train ride, a carnival, 2 visits to a park, a radio-controlled helicopter, and Guitar Hero World Tour. Throw some Chicago-style pizza into the mix and we were set.

I did notice that there seemed to be a lot more people exercising and keeping active in Chicago, and therefore they seemed to have fewer fat people than here in Kansas City. Maybe it’s just the area that my brother lives in, but I didn’t see many fat people at all (or maybe I just live and work in the fat section of Kansas City). Speaking of, have you ever noticed the stock footage/video clips on the news they show when they do a news story on something obesity-related? They show fat people, from the neck down, walking down a busy sidewalk. I wonder if these people know why they’re being filmed? Do you think the reporters are tasked by their bosses to get footage of obese people walking down the street? I can picture the news van driving around slowly during lunchtime, camera on the shoulder of the cameraman, cocked and ready to jump out of the back door of the van SWAT Team style, should they happen to come upon an unsuspecting fattie. I imagine it would be kind of like a landlocked, urban “Whale Wars” episode. It’s kind of sad for the fat people when you think about it. I wonder if the fat people who were filmed are ever watching the news and see the footage and think, “Hey, I have that same moo-moo and sweatpants outfit as that person. Lane Bryant must’ve sold a lot of those. It totally looks better on me though.”

I apologize to any fat people that were offended by this blog. I’m sure the cameraman who was on the sidewalk filming in front of you was filming the skyline behind you.


Song of the day: “Late Last Night” by Cross Canadian Ragweed. My brother listens to them, and they’re not too bad. I’d never really heard of them or listened to them before the trip to Chicago. I think I’m getting old and losing my grip on what’s “hip” in music – I guess they’ve been around for a few years. It’s kind of sad – I think I’ve peaked.

When there's no one left to leave you, even you don't quite believe you

In the last post I shared a story from my past about the first time I went to the movies with a girl. I shared that story in order to share this next story. If you haven’t read the previous post yet, I would encourage you to do so before continuing with this one because otherwise it’ll feel like reel 2 was spliced with reel 5 and you’ve missed 45 minutes of plot.

The “Batman girl” (I realize that if I would refer to her as “Batgirl” I would save a word, but we didn’t go see a Batgirl movie together, we saw Batman, so although it doesn’t read as well I’m choosing to call her “Batman girl” in order to preserve the integrity of my memory) and I were friends in middle school and drifted apart and were more like acquaintances in high school. We had concert choir and show choir together and talked to each other at social events, but she had a different group of friends than I did so we weren’t as close as we were as kids. I didn’t see her much at all after high school. I had heard from other Warrensburg townies that her sister had been down on her luck and had gotten into some trouble, and that this girl eventually followed suit and ended up in jail on drug-related charges. I didn’t really think much of it at the time because I was in college and doing my own thing (and I’m rather selfish; if it doesn’t concern me directly then I tend to lose interest quickly).

Fast forward a few years. It’s a random weekday in the summer of 2006 and I’m at work in downtown KC. I walk over to the McDonald’s to grab a quick lunch, and as I’m in waiting in line for my food I see a girl behind the counter that looks like someone I recognize. I thought that it might be either “Batman girl” or her older sister (they looked a lot a like – both very pretty). She didn’t see me, so I took my food and left. I sat at my desk for the rest of the day, wondering if it was her. I was preoccupied thinking about her while at home that evening as well. The next day I went back to McDonald’s, hoping that this girl (who might be someone I know) was working, and she was. This time she’s cleaning up the dining area; taking the empty trays back, changing the trash, etc. I thought to myself that I’ll just try to get a look at her nametag to see if it is “Batman girl” or her sister. So I try to casually look at her nametag from afar. It’s a good thing that I didn’t pursue international espionage as a career because after this girl finished refilling the ketchup packets at the napkin/condiment area, she comes up to me and says in an annoyed, confrontational tone “Why are you staring at me?” I quickly look at the nametag and IT was “Batman girl”. I say, ““Batman girl”, it’s me, Will from high school.” (I used her real name; I didn’t say “Batman girl”). She then remembers who I am and says, “Oh hi Will, I didn’t recognize you at all.” (Obviously the Batman movie experience didn’t leave the same lasting impression with her as it did with me). I could tell that she was a little embarrassed to have someone from her past see her working at McDonald’s in downtown Kansas City, but I didn’t care at all. I was just really happy to see her. We stood there for 5 minutes and caught up on each other’s lives. She had just gotten out of jail and was living in a halfway house, trying to get back on her feet. She was hoping to get out of the halfway house and get her daughter back (she had a daughter before she went to prison). She was now focused on turning her life around and working towards being able to be there for her daughter and becoming a part of her daughter’s life. I asked her if she was planning on attending our 10 year high-school reunion later that summer. She said that she wasn’t; she didn’t really want to see all of those people, considering what she’s been through recently (understood). We parted ways after I gave her my contact information and I went back to work and she went back to work. I couldn’t believe I had actually run into “Batman girl.” Although she had experienced some rough times, she was still the same; she had the same mannerisms and the same smile that I remembered.

After that encounter I couldn’t stop thinking about her and her situation. Working in downtown Kansas City I routinely see homeless people sleeping on heat grates and rummaging through trash cans for food and it doesn’t affect me at all. I see stories on the news and hear Jen’s stories from her work about drug addicts going to jail and I don’t give it a second thought. I guess it’s because I actually know this girl that it really stuck with me and bothered me. She’s not some random person who’s been addicted to drugs and spent time in prison; this was “Batman girl.” I couldn’t help but think that she and I were a lot alike growing up and we had basically the same childhood with the same opportunities. Of course there were a few variables in her life that were different than mine, but we both grew up in the same small town in middle-class families. She was a popular girl in school and had a lot of friends. She played sports on the same travelling teams that my wife had, and she and my wife grew up as friends and spent time together as well. She had a normal, suburban life; things like this shouldn’t happen to normal people, especially people that I know. I can’t really describe it, but I felt like that could have easily been me if just a few things had been different in my life. I also felt like that I needed to do something to help her out. Not out of guilt or anything like that, but because she was someone I knew and had grown up with. She was part of a memory from my childhood that to this day makes me smile. I’m sure this sounds egotistical, but people who have been a part of my life and people I care about deserve better than that. I can’t let someone like that go and not at least try to help out in some way. She was trying really hard to get her life back on track and I wanted to assist with that effort. I saw her a few more times and I was able to help her out with a few things. I wish I could’ve done more for her. She was able to get an admin assistant job downtown in an office and quit McDonald’s. She was later able to move out of the halfway house and move into the same town as her daughter, get married, and she eventually regained custody of her daughter. I’ve tried to stay in touch with her and check on how she’s doing. She’s doing well – she’s happy, she has her daughter and she’s starting a new chapter in her life.

Seeing “Batman girl” again and getting reacquainted with her as an adult really changed my thoughts on some things and helped to make me a better person. It bothers me now when I hear other Warrensburg townies speak about “Batman girl” and for them to be so judgmental of her situation and be so dismissive about it, like it’s a given that she’ll end up failing and they’re not surprised when she goes through bumps in her life. I guess it’s our society; drug-addiction is looked down upon and people tend to not be as compassionate towards those suffering from it. To me it’s somewhat of a double-standard; a girl can suffer from something like anorexia and people will have sympathy (“sympathy or empathy?”) for her and not look down upon her – she’s an angel who’s suffering from a disease and people have hope for her (please note: I think anorexia is a serious illness and I am not making light of it at all). A girl with a drug addiction, however, is thought to have chosen her lifestyle and she just needs to get her act together. Well, it’s just as easy for the girl to stop using drugs as it is for the anorexic girl to go put a dent in a buffet. I’m sorry to sound so preachy and I’ll get off of my soapbox now, but it really bothers me.

I’m sure there are some people who have legitimate reasons for not liking “Batman girl”, and I understand that. I have a short list of people from my youth who I do not care for and secretly take joy in hearing when their lives aren’t going well. But I have specific (albeit petty) reasons for not liking these people; it’s not just because I don’t agree with their life choices.

A note to all of the Warrensburg townies – the next time we’re all together, sharing stories and giving updates on friends, classmates, etc., please refrain from saying anything negative or judgmental about “Batman girl” (if you grew up in Warrensburg I’m sure by now you know who I’m referring to), at least while I’m participating in the conversation, out of respect to her and also to me. I will, in turn, refrain from saying anything negative or judgmental about anyone else we all may know. If you do insist on saying something, don’t be surprised if I go on a controlled rant about this subject and probably make it awkward and kill the conversation.


Song of the day: The Airborne Toxic Event’s “Sometime Around Midnight.” A song that describes perfectly what it feels like to unexpectedly run into someone from your past. After hearing this song for the first time I immediately downloaded it and listened to it 4 more times. I really like the fact that it doesn’t have a chorus at all, and that with each verse the song builds in intensity, adding an additional instrument and getting a little louder as the song progresses. Very moving.

Sweet Emotion

I’m sure everyone has a handful of memories from their past that they can remember every detail of vividly like it happened yesterday. We usually remember them so well because it was a significant event in our lives at the time, whether positive or negative. Some examples of these memories might be a first date, the first day at your first real job, graduating high school or college, or a specific time when you were the happiest/saddest/most scared/most embarrassed, etc. I’m sure I’ll write and share some of my more memorable personal experiences throughout the life of this blog. Today I’ll start with one of the more positive ones (although there is a negative moment sprinkled within).

Picture it – June 1989, Warrensburg. My family had moved to Warrensburg that past November and I had just finished my fifth grade year in a new school. I had made some friends and things were going well for me. I was spending my afternoons at the pool and enjoying life. A girl who was in my 5th grade homeroom class whom I had noticed at school (ok, I may have had a bit of a crush on her) also frequented the pool with her older sister and her sister’s friends. We all hung out and had a good time; playing jump-or-dive games off of the diving board, seeing who could hold their breath the longest underwater, etc. One Friday afternoon her sister and her sister’s friends were talking about going to see the movie Batman that evening (the one with Jack Nicholson as the Joker and the song “Batdance” by Prince on the soundtrack), and this girl invited me to go with them. This was huge; I’d never been to the movies sans parents before, let alone with a girl. The movie studios had been promoting the crap out the new Batman movie – there were Batman Happy Meals, Batman action figures, the original Batman movie from 1966 was shown on TV, all to build hype for the new summer blockbuster. And it worked – my brother and I were really looking forward to seeing this movie. Well, I asked my parents if I could go and they said I could. I was so excited that not only was I going to see Batman on opening night, but also going with a girl. I guess that I talked about it nonstop in front of my younger brother and upset him by telling him that he wasn’t invited to go with me (this is the negative part of the story – I feel really bad to this day about making him upset because he was only 7 years old at the time. There are at least 4 specific times in my youth that I can remember not being the greatest older brother; this is one of them. So Zac, I know it’s 20 years overdue, but I’m sorry about this). Don’t feel too bad for my brother though; my parents took him to the movies that night to see it as well, so he still got to see Batman on opening night. Ok, back to my story.

My parents took me to the movie theater and I meet this girl and her friends out front and we sit down in the theater. It’s packed and I am on cloud nine. I’m sure I was wearing too much cologne (I’ve been known to do that from time to time) and had spent way too much time thinking about what I was going to wear. The movie starts and I’m having a hard time paying attention to the movie because although it is Batman, this girl smells really nice (I know you’d think the only thing I would smell would be popcorn, but that wasn’t the case. I’m sure she was wearing Exclamation, Electric Youth, or some other tween perfume that was popular at that time, but it was nice), it’s dark, and she’s sitting pretty close to me. All of the sudden I feel her gracefully reach over, grab my hand from my lap and start holding my hand, all in one swift move. My mind instantly became a blur and I could actually feel my heart beating in my head. This was the first time I’d ever held hands with a girl, and on top of that she had instigated it. I remember thinking at the time that this was the best moment of my life.

I know you’re thinking, “Wow, he held a girl’s hand, big deal.” Well, it was a huge deal to me at the time. I made a futile attempt to try and focus on the movie, but I had to concentrate on not letting it seem obvious to this girl how happy I was. I needed to put up a front like this was no big deal; I hold hands with girls all the time. I decided to give up paying attention to the movie and focus on keeping my leg from shaking out of nervousness/excitement (like when you’re sitting down in a chair and you put your feet on the floor, but only put your toes on the floor and lift your heel so your leg eventually starts shaking – it was like that only much faster). I was hoping that my hand wasn’t sweating profusely and that she couldn’t feel my heartbeat racing through my hand. This was uncharted territory for me. I knew I wasn’t going to do anything to impress her because I had no skills in this area; my only goal was to not screw this up. I got a hold of myself, and after a few minutes I returned to some sense of normalcy . . . until she started rubbing her thumb slowly back and forth over the top of my hand. Now not only was she holding my hand, but there was movement! I didn’t know what to do – do I reciprocate with my own thumb movement, or is that too obvious? I was way out of my league. This was the first time in my life I wished I had an older brother, because obviously her older sibling had given her advice on the ways of the world and I had nothing to work with. I decided to not try any movement or anything like that because that would just be tempting fate. I would just focus on my grip. I thought that if I had a firm (but not too tight) grip it would communicate that I was aware of what was going on and that I was having a good time. I convinced myself that the grip theory was the best plan of attack and I was slowly getting comfortable again with my surroundings. I guess this girl could tell that I was getting comfortable because she then kicked it up another notch – she took her other hand and began to gently caress the inside of my forearm of the hand that she was holding. Are you serious?! I think at this point I could actually feel the sweat forming on my neck and back. I wouldn’t be surprised if I left a sweat stain on the back of the movie theater seat similar to the “Soul Glow” stains left on the couch in that scene from the movie Coming to America. At this point, Prince himself could’ve been playing the role of Batman on screen and I wouldn’t have noticed.

I somehow made it through the rest of the movie without completely breaking down. Afterwards we said goodbye to each other and I met my parents and brother in the parking lot to go home, and her, her sister, and her sister’s friends walked across the street to Dairy Queen. I remember my brother talking to me on the drive home about all of the cool parts of the movie, and to be honest I didn’t really remember any of them because I was so wrapped up in my first movie hand-holding experience. I don’t remember too much else of that summer; I do recall that we hung out more at the pool and the tennis courts and went to a few more movies together, but it was nothing compared to opening night of Batman.

I tell this story in order to set the scene for another story. I ran into this same girl as an adult and our lives had gone in completely different directions, but that story will have to wait for another day. For now, I’ll leave you with this – I’m sure there are much better movies out there than the 1989 version of Batman, but to me that movie will always be the best movie that I’ve ever seen in a theater.


Song of the day: “Say Goodbye” by Dave Matthews Band. The song starts out with a wandering flute solo with drums in the background, but right at about the 1:08 minute mark the rest of the band joins in and it just works. I won’t discuss the meaning of the song, but I will say this: it sounds like a good idea in theory, but I doubt that it rarely works out well in reality. Listen and let me know what you think.

Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now

Since I've been known to rant about things and be negative a lot of the time, I thought this week I'd share something positive. Two weeks ago Jen and I went to Vegas for a few days of vacation. I have to say this: I love that town. At least the Strip - the downtown "experience" is a bit lame, but that's just me. I know that some people think Vegas is a pit of sin with nothing but gambling and whores, but it's so much more than that now. Sure, that stuff is prevalent, but to me those things just add to the whole Vegas vibe. I had a few recurring random thoughts over the course of the week while in Vegas, so I thought I'd share and get other people's take on them (feel free to comment):

1) A few years ago I thought it might be fun to work in Vegas; I enjoy it there and I've never worked at a tourist destination where people choose to go to have fun (working in IT you deal with people who aren't happy or they're telling you what is broken with their technology - I thought it might be nice to work somewhere where people actually want and choose to visit). I'm over that now. I don't know if it's just because I'm getting older or because I live in a bubble (I don't use public transportation, I work with a small group of intelligent people who are similar to me, and the few select people I choose to be around in my free time are also similar to me), but I realized while in Vegas that I have a very low tolerance/patience level for the general public. I don't know why, but it seems like the most annoying people always end up sitting next to me on a plane, bus or shuttle or stand next to me while in line. I try to be nice and keep to myself while in public, being cognizant of not being that annoying person to others. Other people are not as courteous. I don't want to sound egotistical (too late, right), but I think the majority of the population is just not very smart. I couldn't work at a tourist destination because I'd have to be around stupid people all of the time. I think constantly dealing with idiots would would suck all of the fun out of and ruin Vegas for me.

2) There is always music playing in Vegas. Music is played in all of the casinos and music can be heard while walking down the Strip. I'm a big fan of music, so I really enjoy this. It's like having a constant soundtrack to your day. I noticed that it wasn't from a local radio station or XM/Sirius because I never heard any commercials. I was curious to know the details of this music - if each hotel did their own mix, if they hired a company to do it, etc., so I asked our concierge. She had no idea and said that nobody had ever asked her about the music before (I thought that was weird), but she did give me the phone number for the hotel audio & video department. I called them and they were really nice and answered all of my questions. They use a company, DMX (www.dmx.com) for all of the music being played at their property. They have personalized music channels made for the different areas of the hotel (lobby & hallways, pool, restaurants, clubs, bars, etc.). I wondered if I would enjoy working for this company (as you can tell I often evaluate whether I would enjoy working in certain professions and assess the negative aspects of each profession). I really like music and I think it would be fun to research and get new music for mixes. But then I thought, "What if working at that type of job took all the fun away from music for me?" I've never taken a job in something I've had a passion for so I don't know - does working a job that was once something you did as a hobby take all of the fun out of it? I would think eventually every job, no matter how fun it is, turns into just another job with its downsides. I wonder if the music researchers who have worked for DMX for a while now hate music and can't stand listening to music in their free time?

3) At first I thought it would be fun to live in Vegas - there's so much to do and so many places to eat. After thinking about it though, I don't think living there would be as fun as I initially thought. Sure, you'd see a lot of shows and all of the big concerts play in Vegas, but you have to deal with the tourists and I think that would get old quickly. I wonder what Vegas locals do for fun? Normal things would no longer excite you after being there for a few years because you've experienced everything the town has to offer. It's like Michael Vick having dog fights - I see how someone gets to that point. When normal activities no longer entertain/excite you, you need to kick it up a notch in order to feel something. I bet partying with Vegas locals is either really wild and/or dangerous, or they do really boring things like go camping or go out to the wilderness where it's quiet in order to get away from the hustle of their hometown.

4) I like thinking about and knowing back stories of people I come into contact with. It helps to know why they act a certain way and how they got to where they are currently are in life. While in Vegas I found myself wondering, "How did these people choose to work here?" I'd see a young, attractive girl in her mid-twenties working as a cocktail waitress in a casino and her nametag would have her first name and her hometown listed underneath (I guess to show that people come from all over to work in Vegas). How did this girl from Colorado get to be a cocktail waitress in Vegas? Did she come to Vegas to be a showgirl and it didn't work out? What's her plan for the rest of her life? Not that I'm saying waitressing isn't a good living - I just wonder if people have ambition to do more, or are they happy with their current gig?

Anyway, that’s about it for Vegas. We had a good, relaxing time; we ate well, saw some shows, went to some clubs, and hung out at the pool. It doesn’t get much better than that.


Song of the day: "Put On" by young Jeezy & Kanye West. It's a good song - yes Kanye is using Auto-Tune, but his verse still works. The "Put On Remix" has a verse by Jay-Z which always makes a song better. Jen & I have had conversations on whose verse in this song is better - Kanye's or Jay-Z's. I said Kanye’s; she chose Hov’s because his verse goes with the theme of the song and Kanye's doesn't. To each their own I guess.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss

Continuing from the last post with the miscellaneous jobs I’ve held:

Movie theater usher/concessions/projectionist – The spring of my senior year of high school they renovated the old Wal-Mart and made a movie theater with 8 screens (the previous movie theater in Warrensburg only had 2 screens – how small town is that). My mom worked with the wife of one of the new movie theater managers so she was able to get me an interview (and probably the job as well) when the new theater opened. It didn’t have stadium seating or anything fancy, but it was still a much better job than Burger King. I started out as an usher/concessions attendant, but then was promoted to a projectionist after a few months. Working at the theater was awesome. I loved watching movies and you worked with college kids. New movies would be delivered on Wednesday or Thursday in 6-8 film canisters. As a projectionist you would splice the 6-8 film reels together and had to watch it on Thursday evening after the movie theater closed (you watched it to make sure you didn’t accidentally splice reel 2 with reel 5 and miss 45 minutes of plot in the movie). If it was a movie people wanted to see other employees would stay with you to watch it, you could invite friends, people would bring in drinks and it would be a good time. On the flip side though, you also had to stay (usually by yourself) and watch the bad movies you put together that nobody wanted to see, like Harriet the Spy or The Horse Whisperer. My boss at the movie theater used the perks his job provided to the fullest extent. He would barter movie passes or invites to the Thursday night projectionist sneak-preview to the local dry cleaners, Domino’s & Pizza Hut, Jiffy Lube oil changes, etc. I don’t think that man paid for anything in Warrensburg. I didn’t mind though, because the Domino’s & Pizza Hut people always brought over a lot of food and weren’t too rambunctious. Working at the movie theater the summer after graduating high school was really fun. My schedule was really messed up; I’d work until midnight or so, go out with coworkers and stay up until about 6AM, then go home and go to bed and sleep until noon and then turn around and to it all over again. Another perk of working at the only movie theater in town was that you always saw people on dates and you sometimes saw people going to the movies together that you didn’t realize were together or shouldn’t have been together (at least in public due to personal commitments). You also had the usual situations of people making out in the back of the theater and you had to break that up. As a projectionist it was always fun to go up in the booth and shine a flashlight on the offenders in the back row right when they were really getting into it.

Window scraper – The summer after I graduated college I needed a temporary job just for the summer because we were moving to Alabama in August. A friend told me I could work with her husband doing some painting in some new duplexes that were being built. No problem. I was thankful to have a job and looked forward to making a little money. What I didn’t realize was that I was hired on as a windows scraper. Here’s how it would work: the construction company was building duplexes very quickly in the summer in order to get them ready for the college students returning in the fall. Once the apartments were ready to be painted (interior), they would paint the walls quickly with a spray and move on to the next room. Paint would splatter on the windows so they needed someone to scrape the paint (with a razorblade) off of each window in the apartment. I’m not kidding – hand scrape the paint off of windows with a small razorblade. And it wasn’t just a few drops of paint – those windows were covered. After scraping just 2 windows I asked if it would be easier to have me go before the painters and tape off the windows so paint wouldn’t get on them, and then remove the tape and covering afterwards. That seemed logical to me. That plan wasn’t accepted; I guess it was easier, cheaper and faster to paint the walls quickly and then pay me to scrape off the paint from the windows. You quickly realize how expendable you are and how crappy of a job you have when it’s easier to pay you to scrape paint off of windows all day than to take the time to tape off the windows. My fingers hurt so badly after the first day that I had to quit that job. I really do appreciate my friend getting me the job, but that sh!t was depressing; fresh out of college with an IT degree in the year 2000 and I was scraping paint off of windows.

Bartender – Ok, the term bartender may be a bit of a stretch. After my quick stint in the construction business (1 day as a paint scraper), I needed to find another summer job after college graduation. Another friend hooked me up with bartending at the local Elk’s Lodge. It wasn’t too mentally taxing; the job consisted of basically using a bottle opener to open the beers for the Elks Lodge members. Surprisingly, Elks Lodge members don’t really order wild drinks like a Flaming Dr. Pepper or an appletini – pretty much just drink Miller Lite. On Saturday nights there would be wedding receptions or high school reunions at the Elk Lodge, so I did get to bartend those. Those were entertaining because they’d have a DJ and it was pretty busy and you’d actually serve drinks other than just beer.

I’ve held other jobs during my tenure in the workforce, such as working at the college library and various computer-related jobs, but those were pretty standard and not very interesting. I do appreciate the various jobs I’ve had because I think I learned something (maybe not job-related) at each one of them. One recurring theme at each one was to stay in school and get a degree I could use so I wouldn’t have to do the job I was currently doing for the rest of my life.


Song/Album of the day: BB King’s “Live in Cook County Jail.” People always talk about Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison album being the definitive album recorded at a prison, but BB King’s is just as good (at least to me). You know it’s going to be good when, during the 1st track as they’re introducing everyone to the audience/general population, the inmates boo loudly when the sheriff is introduced. If you like blues, you’ll like this album.

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

I was talking to a coworker the other day and they told me their daughter had just gotten her first part-time job. That got me to thinking about the jobs I’ve had over the years. After writing them all down I realized that I’ve had at least 10 jobs that I can remember in my 31 years. These are not 10 different adult careers; these span from when I was 14 to present day. I thought that if I’m going to take this trip down memory lane, why not invite everyone along for some of the highlights? Here we go:

Mowed lawns – like every suburban teenager I mowed lawns in my neighborhood. There were a few elderly ladies and an apartment complex that kept me steadily employed as a “landscape artist.” It wasn’t too bad; it provided cash that allowed me to buy toys and clothes that I wanted.

Red Cross swimming lessons instructor – When I was 14 years old I taught swimming lessons for the Red Cross. It was a pretty fun job, although it paid horribly – minimum wage and you only worked a few hours a day. It did provide the opportunity to hang out with girls who were older who were in swimsuits. The only thing I really remember about this job was riding my bike home really quickly after the night sessions so I could watch the 1992 Summer Olympic USA Basketball team (The original Dream Team) play in the Barcelona Olympics. This was pre-DVR days and I never really trusted the VCR to tape things when I programmed it. That team was amazing. Random fact – they never called a timeout during any of their Olympic games.

Grape picker for a winery – When I was 15 years old a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to help him that Saturday pick grapes for a winery in the area. He said that it’s easy money and I didn’t have anything else to do that Saturday so sure, why not. He said to be outside of my house at 6AM in long sleeve clothes, jeans and a pair of gloves. No problem – 6AM is a little early on a Saturday, but I can do it. A little after 6AM that Saturday a truck pulls up to my house – my friend’s father is driving and there are a few other grown men in the cab. I get in the back of the truck and sit down in the truck bed. We then proceed to pick up 5 or 6 Mexican gentlemen along the way who apparently don’t speak much English at all. I didn’t realize this at the time, but I was to be a day laborer for the winery. They paid me in cash and dropped me back off at my house at the end of the day. The only thing missing from the situation was that they didn’t pick me up in front of a Home Depot. It wasn’t very interesting work; you had to watch out for wasps and snakes and just pick the grapes off of the vine. It was tiring though, filling up the baskets with grapes and loading the baskets onto the truck. They did take us into the winery and give us a tour at the end of the day. The last part of our job that day was to pour the baskets of grapes into the giant grape-crushing machine. That was neat to witness, although I saw spiders, snakes, and other bad things go down the grape-crushing machine and the winery owner stated that was not a big deal at all. I guess crushed up snakes and spiders add flavor to the wine.

Painted a house – When I was 16 the superintendant of the public school district hired me one week during the summer to paint one of the houses on his rental property. It was a really easy job. I did a good job, but it’s a totally different feeling knowing that you’re painting a house that some college kids are going to live in and trash (didn’t do a lot of detail work with a small brush). Again, a cash job.

Burger King sandwich artist – My parents told me that if I wanted to drive one of their vehicles when I turned 16 I needed to pay the additional amount of auto insurance it costs to add me to their policy. Not a bad deal at all for a 16 year old. So on my 16th birthday I applied for a job at Burger King. Please be aware that there aren’t an abundant amount of part-time job opportunities in Warrensburg for a 16 year old. I chose Burger King because I knew some people who worked there. Working there was definitely an education. Working weeknights after school wasn’t that bad because it was mostly other high-school kids working there. Working there in the summer or working the breakfast shift or closing shift was a different story altogether. I once worked with a girl who decided that she no longer wanted to wear her braces, so she took it upon herself to remove them (on her own) with pliers. She was only able to get the wiring off though; she couldn’t get the “tabs” that were glued to her teeth off so she just left them like that - awesome. I also worked with an older guy who asked me on his first day, “Are there any ugly girls who work here?” I proceeded to ask why (I don’t know why I asked; I guess I figured the conversation could kill some time while we were there), and his response was, “I’m looking for an ugly girl because they don’t have the opportunities to cheat on you and they’re more appreciative when you’re nice to them and show them attention.” Words to live by. For being a fast-food job, it wasn’t that bad, although my hands would smell like pickles and onions all of the time.

That’s all for now; I’ll finish up with the rest of my previous jobs in the next post. My own To Be Continued . . .


Song of the day: “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” by Vampire Weekend. Another fun song for the summer that I frequently find myself humming (I’m sure my cubicle neighbor at work hates me). Vampire Weekend’s self-titled album is pretty good; you should check it out.

Cheap Shades and a Tattoo and a Yoo-Hoo

If you ask people what their favorite season is, you’ll probably get answers like “I like the Spring because that’s when everything comes into bloom and it’s like a new beginning” or “I like Fall because I like when the leaves change color and the temperature drops to sweater weather.” For me, seeing the leaves turn color in the Fall is just a constant visual reminder that another summer has died. I love the summer; I would say that it’s my favorite season. I’m noticeably happier in the summertime. Ok, yeah, it gets hot. But most public places, modern vehicles, homes, etc. have air conditioning so quit whining.

For me, summertime has always represented a season of freedom of sorts. When you’re a kid it meant 3 months away from school. The days are longer and the nights are more fun. It’s like a 3 month party. Here are a few more reasons why summer is the best season:

Memorial Day Weekend – The official start to summer. This might be my favorite holiday. Depending on what date in May the holiday falls on, all of the following could possibly take place during this extended weekend: Women’s College Softball Super Regionals or World Series (Laugh all you want, but it’s entertaining. I realize it’s not as visually stimulating as women’s beach volleyball, but a few of the girls are “softball pretty.”), the NBA playoffs, the early rounds of the French Open, and possibly a UFC event. Combine all of those with good friends and family, barbecues, and that’s a recipe for a good time. I’ve been known to take the Friday before off of work to extend this party to 4 days. I invite anyone and everyone that’s looking for a good time to come hang out with me the next Memorial Day weekend. If you do plan to hang out with me and my entourage, please be prepared; you’ll need to stay rested, hydrated and have plenty of sunscreen. I’m a compassionate person, but you’re on your own if you do something ignorant such as forgetting to apply sunscreen on Friday afternoon and can’t participate in the rest of the weekend.

Summertime Fashion – People aren’t walking around wearing 3-5 layers, looking all puffy in the summertime like they do in the winter. Granted, it takes some planning in the spring to get summer ready and shed the winter weight. But a little bit of consistent work started in March goes a long way by June, and is definitely appreciated. It’s also an opportunity to get some color on my skin so I can temporarily get rid of the trademark “IT Paleness” that almost everyone in my career field has. Between Memorial Day & Labor Day it’s acceptable to wear linen and also white pants. The linen thing is my own personal rule. It’s a lightweight, breathable fabric – it just looks out of place in the middle of winter, at least here in the Midwest. I understand the “white in summertime” rule is outdated and has been refuted, but I’m a traditionalist and think it still applies. It may be ok if you live in a warmer climate or on the coasts, but it just looks silly to be rockin’ white pants in January in Missouri. This mostly applies to ladies because white pants on men just doesn’t look quite right ever, no matter the season. I’ve seen white shorts for men that work, but they’ve got to be longer or of the cargo variety, not the pleated, polyester white shorts that old men wear that have the crease down the front (I think these are sold and Sears and JCPenney). One final personal pet peeve I’d like to mention (call it my Public Service Announcement or my own “The More You Know” commercial that they play on NBC) and this is targeted at the ladies: if you wear white pants in the summer, please be aware of your undergarment situation. Nothing kills a great pair of crisp white pants like blatant VPL (visible panty line) or a black thong that can be seen either through the pants or hanging out above the waistline. Many men may not agree with me about the black thong thing and say that it’s hot, and it might be if you’re at a NASCAR event, a monster truck rally, or in Independence, MO., but it’s just not for me. There are many alternatives available these days to resolve the white pants/underwear issue – I’m just asking that you consider them all and choose the one that you’re comfortable with.

Music – It's always fun to see (and guess) what the "song of the summer" will be each year. This year it looks to be "Boom Boom Pow." Anyway, the music that comes out in the summer seems to be catchy, fun party songs. It’s also acceptable to have some reggae in your playlist during the summer and people won’t assume you’re a stoner, slacker or a Rastafarian. Summertime is also the only season I catch myself listening to a little country music.

Food – Barbecues, watermelon, and lemonade. I don’t even need to elaborate.

4th of July – Our nation’s birthday. Fireworks and more barbecues. How can you not like this holiday . . . unless you’re Al Qaeda or Taliban. Are you?

Pool/Waterparks – When I was a kid, the pool was our summertime babysitter and I didn’t mind this at all. This started the summer after my 5th grade year and continued until 8th grade. Mom would take my brother & me to the pool during her lunch hour if we did our morning chores, which were usually really simple chores like fold the towels or clean our rooms. There were 2 public pools in Warrensburg: the nice one at the golf course (Pertle Springs) that was ran by the college, and then there was the other one that wasn’t so nice (Nassif Pool) that was ran by the city. The pool at the golf course was the “it” pool to be seen at; there were high school and college girls there (both as lifeguards and as patrons), and that’s where the upper middle class kids went to swim. Anybody who was anybody went to Pertle to swim. Unfortunately for me and my brother, my mother’s work was only a block away from the other pool so we were chauffeured to Nassif. At first I was a little upset about this, but I got over it quickly because it was still a pool with a diving board and girls (who weren’t as uptight as the girls at Nassif and more “friendly” – that’s a nice way to put it). Looking back, I’m glad I went to Nassif because I got much more of a “worldly” education there than I would have at Pertle. The clientele at Nassif was different than at Pertle; it was more “urban.” I didn’t mind this at all; I’m a friend to all and fit right in and hung out with everyone there. I remember on Fridays the older Talbert brothers would come into town from KC and hang out at the pool – that always kicked the excitement up a notch at Nassif. I was hanging out with the youngest of the Talbert brothers at the pool so I got to tag along. It was on a Friday at the pool that I witnessed my first real fight. Not the weak, juvenile fights that happened in the hallways or after school in middle school; I’m talking about 2 big guys going toe-to-toe. It was also on a Friday at the pool where I saw someone pull a gun on someone else (actually it was at the basketball courts next to the pool where you’d go during the hourly 10 minute break/adult swim at the pool). That was a little scary. After that incident I decided to stay in the pool area and just lay on my towel during adult swim. I was there when Jermaine had fireworks go off in the back pocket of his pants and had to go to the hospital for a skin graft. I could continue to regale you with more Nassif pool stories, but I’m not sure if the statute of limitations has expired on some of the things I witnessed, so I’ll stop here. Every time I go to an outdoor pool I think of those summers fondly. Warrensburg has since closed the pool at the golf course, leaving Nassif as the only outdoor public pool. The city has renovated the pool, adding a lazy river and some other cool stuff. It looks to be a reputable place now.

I could go on-and-on about my love for the summer, but this post is long enough as is. I’m going to try and enjoy this summer as much as I can, before the dreaded holiday of Labor Day arrives and singlehandedly kills my joy.


Song of the day: “P control” by Prince (off The Gold Experience album). A song about female empowerment; it could possibly be the “I Will Survive” for our generation. Ok, maybe not, but still a classic Prince beat that makes me laugh every time I hear it. Skip the 30 second intro though, it’s a little boring. Be warned, this is an adult song so be aware of your surroundings when singing it aloud.

Another dimension, new ga-la-xy

I went and saw the new Terminator movie the other day. It was ok; not great but somewhat entertaining. It follows the premise of the original Terminator story: Skynet (a computer software-based artificial intelligence military defense system) becomes self-aware and sees the human race as a threat to its existence. It starts a nuclear war by firing nuclear missiles at Russia; Russia in turn fires nuclear missiles at the United States. This nuclear exchange kills billions of people in just minutes. Skynet then utilizes robots and machines to hunt down and kill the remaining human survivors, the end goal being the extermination of all mankind.

I left the movie thinking the following: what would happen if Skynet won the war and eliminated the entire human race? What would Skynet and all of the Terminators do next, throw a huge party to celebrate their victory? I’m sure they’d have a Lee Greenwood-type Terminator robot sing some cheesy, patriotic robot song in honor of the day they killed the last human. After the party ends I can see them just looking around at each other and giving a shrug, like “what now?” Since inception, the terminators and Skynet had one goal; to destroy the humans. Once that’s been completed, they wouldn’t know what to do. It’s not like the T-600 model would go find a new career in middle management once all the “people killin’” had been completed. They’re robots; they wouldn’t have the desire to start a normal, suburban family life. They wouldn’t go on vacation to the beach to clear their head or take the red-eye to Vegas with a bunch of their Terminator friends for an extended weekend. I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t all just shut down once their objective had been completed – a successful completion to an end of job of sorts.

I don’t know; this was just what I thought about on the way home from the movie theater. By the way, this is the type of thing us nerdy IT guys stand around the water cooler at work and talk about.


Song of the day: “Here (In Your Arms)” by Hellogoodbye. I admit it’s a cheesy song. If you listen to it through headphones though it sounds pretty good. I actually prefer to listen to music through a decent pair of headphones; you hear pieces and instruments in the song that you miss when listening via speakers. A lot of tracks that Timbaland produces have “layers” within them that I never noticed until listening via headphones (FYI - Timbaland did not produce this song).